South Africa's LGBTI newspaper since the 1980's

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Mary Unfaithful: Keeping HIV out of the affair

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Poems, plays, songs, movies and series explore a subject that never seems to go out of fashion because it’s been a sticky topic throughout history: Infidelity. Maybe you’ve been cheated on, or maybe you’ve been the cheater.h4mlogo Perhaps you just don’t know. Then again, you and your partner may have an open relationship that doesn’t require being sexually exclusive with one another. Whatever the case, HIV need not be on the menu, even if having a side-dish is.



If you are in an exclusive monogamous relationship, using condoms is still an effective way to practice safer sex. Condoms are your first line of defence against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections when you’re having sex with another person. If you are likely to have sex with someone other than your partner, make sure that you use a condom. It’s one thing to cheat on someone, but something else altogether to give them an unwanted infection or disease. If you suspect that your partner may be cheating on you, using condoms can at least provide some peace of mind. Make sure you use condoms and water-based lubricant.

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Pretoria Gay Pride 2016

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By Kagiso Masemola in partnership with Phobic Organisation


Saturday, the 1st of October 2016, Centurion Rugby field housed the much anticipated fourth annual Pretoria Gay Pride event and it was worth all the
hype that it created leading up to the day. This particular event that’s held globally, has been both a celebration of the beauty that is seen in and around lives led by the LGBTQI community, and a commemoration of those who have fought (to death) to have us bear the rights that we have beenPtaPride
awarded, though many believed it was a lost 'cause.

1970 saw the blossoming of the first gay parades, the first being brought forth by Craig Rodwell, his partner Fred Sargeant, Ellen Broidy, and Linda Rhodes in New York City following a police raid on the Stonewall Inn in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City. The Stonewall Inn was a gay bar which catered to an assortment of patrons, but which was popular with the most marginalized people in the gay community: transvestites, transgender people, effeminate young men, hustlers, and homeless youth.

This parade opened the door for many more across the world, many of which if not all, hosted in countries that were legally and socially anti-LGBTQI, which was a cause of concern, but a cause worth more than concern when weighed up.PtaPride7 The danger of being involved in a movement that stood to change the perception of the greater public was one that could not be avoided, but the mere fact that such movements were faced with resistance spoke volumes to the need of them being there to begin with, from awareness of our struggles, our being, our existence, our normality, to the celebration of our kind, our uniqueness, our love and everything that we represent. There had to be a way for us to tell our stories, our truth through our mouths and this was/is our way.PtaPride6

When Pretoria Gay pride was introduced to us, it was welcomed by all who it appealed to and those who were interested in supporting such movements, it followed the existence of other Pride events hosted around South Africa's metropolitan cities and surrounding areas, so it had a template. But little
did we know that it would surpass expectation. It has not been in existence for long, but for as long as it has, it has been worth one's attendance.
Many have had the pleasure of attending the event every year that it has been hosted, and many more who enjoyed the experience for the first time say that they'll be attending again.

Peter Tatchell wins James Joyce Award 2016

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Human rights and LGBT rights campaigner Peter Tatchell has been named as winner of Ireland’s prestigious James Joyce Award 2016 and the recipient of an Honorary Fellowship from University College Dublin.

Previous winners include Noam Chomsky, Desmond Tutu and Hans Blix.

Mr Tatchell received the award at a ceremony at 4pm on Wednesday, 21 September, in the Fitzgerald Chamber at University College Dublin, before an audience of university staff and students.PeterTatchell

The James Joyce Award committee of the Literary and Historical Society states that it is an honour conferred on persons who have “excelled in a field of human endeavor and have made a profound impact on the world around them” and is awarded to Peter Tatchell for his contribution to the cause of LGBT equality and human rights over the last 50 years.

Reacting to the award, Peter Tatchell spoke about the future evolution of human sexuality:


My huge gratitude for this distinguished award and honorary fellowship. I feel humbled and overwhelmed to follow in the footsteps of so many illustrious past recipients.

I would like to dedicate my acceptance of this award to the heroic LGBT campaigners of Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) and allied Ugandan movements.

They are spearheading the fight for LGBT rights in Uganda – in a deeply repressive, intolerant society, at great personal risk to their liberty and lives.

Despite government, police and religious persecution – and the constant threat of vigilante and mob violence – they carry on the fight for LGBT freedom.

I salute SMUG and allied LGBT groups, and urge people to go to their website and make a donation to help them carry on their inspiring work against anti-LGBT hate.

As the theme of my acceptance speech, I invite you to join me in looking beyond the current state of national and international LGBT rights, to what is likely to come to pass in the future.

Specifically, I'd like to offer some ideas on the likely evolution of human sexuality, primarily, but not exclusively, as it pertains to LGBT people.

While homophobia, biphobia and transphobia have not disappeared, and while they remain particularly acute in many non-Western countries, here in the West this prejudice is much less extreme and prevalent than it once was.

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Mr Mademoiselle

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Hi, im Mr Mademoiselle and I come forth to shake your concept of homosexuality, to the core – using make up. The art of slow, rapid, almost not-there self-realisation is a very beautiful thing, the fact that you are going through a defining phase/ moment/ time in your life that is somewhat significant in its own right but you cannot see it is inconceivable. It can be related to watching a hour long movie based entirely on your life and not seeing that its based on the shit you’ve had to take your sandwich with. You’re there, its happening to you, but you’re blinded by all life has to offer such as breathing and buying bread that you fail to pick up on your life’s God-goool-map rerouting your path in life.

gaybarWe unfortunately do not possess the ability to view our lives in an aerial perspective and see where it is that universe takes us, anyway..   Back to what this is actually about, masculinity, the myth, phantom, relatively circumstantial since it depends on the box secular ideologies thrown you in. I have held both shallow and abstruse conversations with many of my fellow LGBTQI brothers, sisters and fluid beings on the topic of femininity and its relation to our world, how one balances it with their masculinity and if one should, at all, try to.

Needless to say, there were many head nods and a lot of “where the fuck is this going”? moments. From the moment one comes out the closet or accepts themselves as whatever it is that they are – when it goes against societal norms that is, there is always backlash, always. But the odd thing now is, the backlash is received from both the heterosexual world’s inhabitants as well as from those in the LGBTQI community. This is because of the ‘kind of gay guy’ image that society (both cis-hetero and LGBTQI) has created fits one shade of gay that the world is okay with, that we now all should aspire to being. This is normally the “straight acting” gay guy you find, who has “Not your typical gay guy, love sports, love hiking, I don’t know who Beyoncé is” writing all over his bio’s because that somehow makes him less gay. Is it that difficult to acknowledge that we CANNOT be the same?  

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Stigma: A killer we can stop

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By Bruce J. Little


I would do anything that I can to avoid shame and embarrassment, and I will gladly duck and dive a situation in which I suspect that I may be judged by someone else and put into the “not good enough” box because being looked down on is painful. It’s as if someone is taking a bunch of negative labels and insults and spearing them onto a dart before throwing them at me and repeatedly puncturing and pinning me down me with their harsh opinions.

That is stigma. Assumptions made about someone based on limited knowledge about a characteristic that they may have.

See Mike? Mike is HIV-positive. Mike must have been promiscuous and irresponsible, right? See Jerome? He has bipolar disorder, so he must be a nightmare to be in a relationship with because he must be crazy. See Steve? He’s obese, so he must be lazy, whereas Terrence is a ginger so he must be temperamental and Dumi is Xhosa so he must also be quick to anger. The list is endless. But just how true are these assumptions and beliefs? Mostly, they are not true at all.h4mlogo

Stigma is when you jump to conclusions about somebody based on only one thing that you know about them, and it’s very dangerous because most people are like me, most people will do whatever they can to avoid this kind of judgment and discrimination.

Mike may not even know that he is HIV-positive because he is afraid to find out in case you also find out and judge him. Mike may even know that he is HIV-positive but does not take his ARVs regularly because he is scared that you might see him collecting them at the clinic. Mike doesn’t want you to think less of him. Mike could unwittingly infect someone else because he’s afraid of getting tested and he may also get sick and eventually die because he is that scared of your judgment. He wouldn’t be the first.

Like Mike, Jerome could also benefit from taking medication. With bipolar disorder taking mood stabilisers and an anti-depressant would subject him to far fewer suicidal thoughts and debilitating bouts of depression, but Jerome also doesn’t want you to put him in a box and judge him. Jerome is scared that if word gets out about his illness, nobody will want to work with him, love him or spend time with him, so Jerome stays at home and hopes that he’s not sick. His suicide months later will come as a shock to us all.

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