FOR THE LOVE OF IT: SEXUAL HEALTH AND SKILLS FOR GAY GUYS (PART 2)

Written by A. Wolf

 

Introduction

This is a series of six introductory articles on the male sexual anatomy and on the “ins and outs” of men’s sexual health and gay sex, written exclusively for Exit with gay oriented, male-identifying gender-types as well as transgender persons with male sexual anatomy in mind. The series is aimed at widening knowledge of the male sexual anatomy, at fostering care for the male body’s sexual health and hygiene as well as at enriching and deepening of the physical, psychological and spiritual experience of gay sex. 

 

The Sacral Erectile Centre and the Sacral Chakra’s Energy Vortex 

A nexus of nerves related to the penis and to its forming of erections are located in the area of the lower abdomen, a pelvic plexus with a “sacral erectile centre.” We can now also note that it is more or less exactly where so-called ‘energy medicine’ and the Hindu teachings place the so-called ‘sacral chakra’s’ energy vortex, just beneath your navel. It also teaches that your sexual energy is centred in and around this chakra, and that diseases of the sexual anatomy can relate to blockages of the sacral chakra. But as for sexual practice and technique, targeting the area beneath the navel above the pubic mount and the sacral chakra can be a great sexual stimulus for arousal and enhanced sexual experience. You can circularly massage the area and play with your fingers and hands across and around the area of this chakra. A new and increasingly popular tendency is to use crystals to boost the libido and sexual energy and to enhance the pleasure of sex. 

   Of course, the two basic ways of pleasuring the penis is by means of masturbation (self or mutual between two guys), through oral sex, through intercourse or penetrative sex (anal sex for guys, peno-vaginal for men and women), through intercrural sex or by means of sex toys such as vibrators and flesh lights etc. 

 

Pleasuring the Penis

The Whole, All of It – And firstly, I want to observe that every part of the penis (including the testicles) is sensitive and can be stimulated… the testicles, the root or base of the penis (which can be squeezed to enhance your erection), the shaft and the glans penis or dickhead. All of these parts or areas can be singled out for pleasure during foreplay, masturbation or sex. They can be touched, stroked, caressed and licked. The flaccid penis can be held and aroused by simulating masturbating it, by squeezing it in gentle pulses, or by gently shaking, wiggling and vibrating it before and during masturbation and sex. 

The Perineum – This is the area between the legs or the little passage leading from the testicles back towards the buttocks and anus. It too can be touched, stroked or licked or, in intercrural sex, one can stick his penis between his partner’s legs to rub off against the roof of the perineum. About half way along the perineum’s roof there is a place where you can in some men feel a little dip and where you can place your finger – it is called the Million Dollar Spot or the “Inner Meeting” which some sexologists recommend you push hard onto to interrupt and prevent ejaculation (just like pulling on the testicles). However, it may not be discernible in certain men and performing the procedure of pushing there is considered potentially harmful and is not recommended by other sexologists and authors. There are other ways of controlling ejaculation such as using the PC muscle. Suffice to say, preventing orgasms should be the work of the owner of the penis, and there is very little a partner can do to stymy the tide once its onset has begun. Interrupting and stopping any stimulating procedures which is making a guy get closer to cumming (having an orgasm) in time before it is too late and before he cums, is one definite way of preventing orgasms. However, it has to be done early enough and requires the guy’s cooperation by making it his responsibility to warn his partner that he is getting too close to climaxing and cumming so that they can stop orgasm-inducing activity in time. It also requires some training by males (by masturbating and learning control).

The Base of the Shaft – Folding your hand or fingers in a ring around the very base of the penis, and pushing down will make the penis rear up and get harder and stiffer. It can also be wiggled with your hand placed there and while gently pushing down causing a pleasant sensation, and hardening and enlarging the erection.

The Top and Whole of the Shaft – We saw that there are nerves all along the penis, so that all areas on top and underneath the shaft are sensitive to touch, but due to the proximity of the dorsal nerve, the top stroke is usually a little more sensitive. As boys, many men began masturbating by holding the penis between their fingers before switching to holding the penis enfolded and enclosed in their hands (as if making a fist around the penis from which the glans protrudes) to facilitate the up and down sliding movement of the shaft. Therefore it is pleasant for some men if you sometimes masturbate them by also holding the penis by the shaft between your fingers while at other times, they might prefer that you do it by holding their penis by and in your fist – it is important that you ask your partner which they prefer and telling them which you do yourself.

The Glans – However, the glans is most sensitive despite its extremity at the very tip of the penis because the dorsal nerve extends all the way into the glans. The glans and top of the shaft are most sensitive especially from the base of the glans till about 3 centimetres down, more so than the underside along the corpus spongiosum and the urethra. The glans can be taken between the fingertips like a cherry and be felt, stroked and caressed or be licked. Compression of the glans (tweaking it) makes the anus contract – indication of the sexual propensity of the behind, meaning of the buttocks, the areoles, and the anus.

The Frenulum and The Morse Code at the Front of the Penis – The frenulum too can be touched, stroked and trembled for arousal and a pleasant sensation though care should be taken with it. One sexologist I spoke to said there are two especially sensitive spots at the front or on  the underside of the penis of which the first is like a dot right where then frenulum joins the shaft, and that there then is a break of about 5 millimetres before the second spot which is like a dash in morse code begins and stretches down towards the base of the shaft for about two centimetres – a dot and a dash – which can be lightly squeezed or be subjected to light pressure pulses from the fingertips.   

 The PC Muscle (With Exercise) –The pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle is the key to controlling orgasms, to the ability to repeatedly stave off and delay your climax. This pelvic floor muscle runs from the pubic bone to the base of the spine and is the muscle you also use to pinch off and stop the flow of urine. You can test the strength of your PC muscle next time you go to the toilet where you should urinate and then while in mid-flow try to stop it – if you don’t succeed in stopping the flow of urine, then your PC muscle is definitely weak. You can strengthen it by simply flexing it wherever you are – try three sets of contractions of ten each as a minimum per day while holding each contraction for two seconds before releasing. You can also exercise this muscle by contracting it and trying to hold the contraction or flex for 30 seconds before relaxing it. Another way is to use a prostate massager and to them flex the PC muscle while using the massager.

 

Conditions and diseases which afflict the penis

A Tight Foreskin (Phimosis) – A foreskin which isn’t retracted frequently and which is too tight can inhibit function of the penis and make erections painful. If it inhibits cleaning, then the smegma or secretion which is natural around the glans may become septic and cause infection. Circumcision is the most likely treatment for the latter problem in severe cases, but in many cases the causes can be averted and the condition treated and it might not require circumcision. It is therefore good to regularly pull the foreskin back and to do so while masturbating and, of course, to always keep the entire penis but the glans especially clean.

Balanoposthitis – A yeast infection called candidiasis is to blame along with and bacterially induced condition whereby the foreskin tightens due to inflammation of both the glans and foreskin.

Balanitis – A type of skin irritation on the head of the penis and typically develops in uncircumcised males. A topical or antibiotic cream recommended by a doctor will take care of it though bathing the penis every day and washing it with a gentle mild soap will also help in mild cases.  

Erectile Dysfunction – This condition may result from various factors: Stress, poor diet, depression, as well as physical causes including those that are vascular. It can be treated and overcome depending on the causes and requires thorough medical examination and treatment although it can in some cases be overcome.    

Sexually Transmitted Diseases – Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, Herpes and HIV/Aids – All of which have a specific bacterium or virus as its causes which are acquired and passed on by sexual activity, but each has its own symptoms or effects on the body. The latter symptoms may not necessarily affect the penis, though gonorrhoea afflicts the urethra and syphilis can involve sores on the genitals as can genital herpes. All of these diseases can be treated though some like HIV/Aids can’t be fully cured. All of them require a visit to a doctor and medical care as soon as its symptoms are visible or its presence is suspected.

The Testicles – The testicles can also be subject to various conditions which affect either the one or the other. Thus the testicles can be affected by the following conditions:

  • Hypogonadism – Your testicles don’t produce enough hormones you need.
  • Klinefelter Syndrome – A condition occurring when a person is born with two copies of the x chromosome and one copy of the y chromosome.
  • Infertility – Your testicles may not produce or release enough sperm.
  • Epididymitis – Inflammation of the epididymitis.
  • Spermatocele – A cyst growing above or below the testis.
  • Testicular Cancer – The most common cancer in men and people assigned male at birth (AMAB) who are between the ages of 20- and 35-years old.

   The testicles can be damaged during sex itself and by any physical trauma including motor vehicle accidents, falls or fights. Seek out your healthcare provider if you notice any of the following symptoms:

  • Pain in your scrotum and / or testis.
  • A lump or swelling on the testicles.
  • Discoloration of skin of the scrotum.
  • An abnormal feeling or sense of warmth in the testicles.
  • Blood in your semen.
  • Pain in your lower abdomen. 

 

About Penis Size – The slander and insult of a man because he has a modest or small sized penis has no basis in any kind of inadequacy by such a man because of his penis size. It is a far too seldom recognized fact that every size and shape of penis is capable of being good at a different kind of sex. I have found that almost invariably, smaller sized guys can get really hard while their outsized brethren can struggle getting fully erect and staying hard while the smaller sized men stay hard. It seems to me that guys who are really big have developed the expectation that they should be thanked for already merely bringing an elephantine penis to bed, and that they often have a selfish style of lovemaking and never learned to read their partners. They also often have to be made to understand that merely pounding away is not good sex or pleasant to their partners. 

A large cock can in fact be an impediment if care isn’t taken – it can be uncomfortable and sore to accommodate by their partners and turn out to be disappointing to them, with mediocre lovemaking by the big guys. I am tired of having to provide assurance to guys who had been insulted because of their dick sizes. Smaller guys often have a bag of tricks and can be far more interesting and dynamic, and are certainly less intimidating and humbler besides being more comfortable to accommodate. There then is no reason why smaller sized guys should feel inferior, they rock!

   And that ends this instalment of For The Love of It. Join me again next month, when I will be looking at masturbation and mutual masturbation.

 

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