By Simply Duma
Bottoming is the act of being on the receiving end of anal sex, and while many bigoted people still see this as taboo, it is meant to be a pleasurable experience for both (or more) parties involved. As a prominent name in the gay sex scene in Southern Africa, Marlon67 has had his fair share of bottoming experiences, and shares tips on how to make your next appointment a safe and enjoyable one.
1. Self awareness
• It all starts with YOU. Making sure YOU feel safe, making sure YOU consent to the experience, making sure YOU feel comfortable, and making sure YOU understand your own limits, boundaries and desires. You need to enjoy the encounter just as much as the top. It is important to always remember that sex is more amazing when all the people involved are motivated to maximize everyone’s pleasure (safely, of course).
2. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips (or not).
• Your digestive system plays a huge role in your bottoming experience. It determines how, and when, you’re able to prepare yourself effectively for the experience. Luckily for me, I have a healthy digestive system & good metabolism. For most, however, it’s important to eat a diet rich in fibre, raw vegetables and fruit rather than processed foods for a pleasurable sexual experience. Sometimes I prefer a light fruit salad before sex (because you need energy during sex) and then have a full meal after the sex. So make sure that your diet is a healthy one and, although fibre is recommended, try to avoid eating it for a few hours before you’re set to engage in anal sex to avoid any unwanted accidents.
3. Douche. Just don’t be one
• I personally don’t douche unless it’s an impromptu session. Only ever use plain, clean water when you are douching – preferably body temperature. The reason why I don’t prefer douching is because my body already allows me to douche naturally. And because I’m naturally a clean person, every time I leave the bathroom I clean up. Douching too much can lead to bowel problems – so you should try to do it no more than 2-3 times a week.
4. Toys, Toys, Toys!
• Sex toys are a great way to prepare your hole for penetration. Not only do they allow you to explore yourself by having you be in full control of the experience, but they’re also a practical way to try and find ways to relax.
5. Lube Up!
•Your anus isn’t naturally lubricated, so remember that lube is your bestie! Not only does it allow for a smoother entrance, but it also to protects your inner walls from tearing and making you even more susceptible to diseases and infections. Experiment and educate yourself with the different types of lube and finds what works for you (personally, I love water based). Just keep in mind that oil based lube is prone to damaging condoms.
6. Relax! Take it easy
• For some bottoms, relaxing their anal muscles just comes naturally, but for others, it doesn’t. You need to remember that relaxing will help you enjoy it more. Relaxation is probably the most important factors of enjoying anal stimulation. A bit of wine can help you relax if you’re an alcohol consumer like I am. Not being relaxed enough is the primary cause of pain, because it tenses the anal muscles, and no matter how much lube you use, your walls will still get damage if you aren’t relaxed. Pain is not pleasure – unless you’re a masochist. Breathe.
7. The sub is in control
• As the bottom, you might be told by society that the top should be the only one to control what happens during sex. However, as the bottom, YOU are in control, always remember that. Pay attention to your body so that the top can read your body language – I’m very verbal so it’s easier for me to communicate to the top that way.
8. Assume the position
• It’s important to explore different positions and find the one that’s more comfortable for you. Sex positions play a very important role in how pleasurable the experience is, and it’s time for bottoms to start taking advantage of this. I like being in a position where I’m lying on my stomach and the top penetrates from behind. Once it’s in, I’m able to measure how much more lube is needed, and then the fun can truly start. Explore what works best for you.
9. Check in with your body
• It’s important to know if something might be wrong. Before, during and after every session. Our bodies have their own unique ways of communicating to us. Not just for food or hydration, but also for discomfort and pain. If you suspect that you’ve picked up an STI or anything that might have went wrong, please take it seriously. Pay attention to your body and any weird things you might be feeling.
10. Now, check up with your body
• Always make sure you visit your doctor or clinic regularly to ensure that your sexual health is in check.
When done right, bottoming can be a very pleasurable and healthy experience. Always remember to protect yourself and others whenever you’re having fun!
Disclaimer: Opinions within this content are solely the author’s and do not reflect opinions and beliefs of the publication and its affiliates.