PURPLE FLY – PRIDE

Written by: Rudolph Bessit

I used to think that dying and not having to live with my truth, would be a better place to be at. Death meant that I didn’t have to face my family, neighbors and just society as a whole. Death meant that I wouldn’t shame my family, it meant that my family wouldn’t need to have to reject me as they’ve promised and I could be on my way peacefully. 

I used to think that living as an LGBTQIA+ member, I would have to leave my country of birth, leave my family and friends behind and disappear without a trace to where no one knew me. Living meant that I would have to face the world all by myself, trying to forget everyone from my past and find my way through life somehow. Death seemed a better option, a better place. 

I was too much of a coward, I didn’t have the heart or courage or perfect method to end it all and because of it I lived until such a point where I could no longer resist being myself. It’s as if I gradually got exposed to people like myself and secretly began to LoveiT. 

As they’d say, life happened and put me in a position where I realized that if I don’t love me, no one would. I had in the meanwhile lost many of those whom I have loved dearly, not by death, but by separation and so I had the opportunity to explore who I am without the risk of any further rejection or loss of love. 

PRIDE to me, is the celebration of the right to exist in my truest form, everyday, and in my country of birth. PRIDE to me means that there are many others out there who faced the same fears and rejection and also claimed their POWER back. PRIDE is the celebration of the battles fought and conquered so that I could be the Purple Fly without having to hide my identity, without having to fear jail time or death due to my existence. 

PRIDE is the celebration of life.