Written by Kenny Nhlapo


  1. A lot of this stems from catfishing and meeting up with strangers.
  2. Remember what your parents told you when you were young about meeting up with strangers….
  3. Well sadly enough, the same warnings and lessons should apply.
  4. Give yourself a time frame of about two weeks in order to meet up with your potential suitor, date or hookup.
  5. Within this time frame, exchange two or three pictures with her/them/him on the Grindr app.
  6. Avoid blank profiles at all costs because non-LGBTQIA+ people will most probably be lazy to type. Come up with an interesting and catchy bio, and they are probably not good at taking selfies/pictures.
  7. Avoid instant hookups at all costs even if they are very close to you at that time.
  8. Don’t be afraid to ask for more pictures. The more, the better. More so, pictures without sunglasses and caps. Be wary of those, please. 
  9. If a person refuses to send you a picture… Oh well, that’s a huge red flag right there and a no-go-area on its own.
  10. Be careful of E-Beggars! (Electronic Beggars who beg for alcohol, food, data, airtime and Uber rides online.)
  11. If your gut feeling utters a little bit of hesitance, listen to it and act immediately. Don’t go!
  12. Let your gut feeling guide you and protect you all the time. It is like your natural guardian angel at the end of the day.
  13. Sometimes E-Beggars are harmless. They could be hungry for real or want something that they are craving to get them through the day. It’s up to you if you feel like supporting them or not. Like a beggar coming to approach you by the robots to ask for money or food, they could be genuine, but some could be silly and trying their luck. Be careful. 
  14. Going back to instant hookups: Do not meet up with that person if they refuse to give you their contact number or WhatsApp number.
  15. It’s easier to catch a thief or a catfish over the phone or via WhatsApp chats and WhatsApp statuses. You can discover a lot about a person’s character just by viewing their Whatsapp statuses.
  16. Once you have their contact numbers, ask for their social media handles too. At least one platform, if they can’t give you all of them or two mostly.
  17. This will give you more evidence to check and spot what type of a person you’re dealing with and about to meet up with.
  18. If they refuse, don’t meet up. Simple as that. Your safety comes first remember. 
  19. Going back to contact numbers, you have to video call them twice or three times before meeting up.
  20. People look different on an actual video call as compared to the pictures that they have sent you, or pictures you’ve seen on their social media accounts. Those pictures are mostly photo-shopped.
  21. If they don’t like video calls or refuse to talk on video calls or come up with monkey tricks like hiding their faces, or being in a dark place whilst talking on the video call, then you must know that they are not who they are supposed to be. They are up to no good. It will be your cue to leave them, ghost them or write them off completely.
  22. Going back to the point about instant meetings or hookups: Do not send them your home location, no matter what!
  23. It is always safer to meet up at a public place. Avoid car parking lots. Meet up inside the mall, or at an actual coffee shop, restaurant, eatery or bar.
  24. Avoid mentioning your whole outfit that you are wearing. Mention the color of your top/shirt/t-shirt only, or jeans or pants only. Either one item color, not your whole entire outfit. Also ask them what they are wearing.
  25. Always have a bestie, a close friend or a family member that you share all the information with concerning your potential suitor/date or hookup.
  26. Do not meet them in less than a week. Rushed meetings/hookups or dates end up in disaster most of the time. Easy-does-it. Patience is virtue. 
  27. Be real with them and honest by telling them that it is dangerous to meet up instantly without getting to know each other, and without exchanging some bit of personal information. If that person likes you or show that they don’t have any hidden agendas, trust me they will be more than willing to agree with all the pointers/facts/tips mentioned above and they will reciprocate in a positive and honorable manner.
  28. If not, they are most likely to be Grindr Attackers and Kidnappers, and you must stay away from them and be very quick to block them!

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