POST YEARS OF STRUGGLE WITH SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Dumisani Dube Interviews Troy Malangane

Troy Malangane stands in his little corner and looks at the beauty of nature as the sun rises and sets. He calls himself the last reliable Xhosa, openly gay and Proud. I like that! Interviewing this Beau is a little hectic for me because the voice sends me directly to heaven, sorry bae wakhe. We sit over virtual coffee and without hesitation he lets me in his life with lots of laughter and blushes in between. 

Born in 1990 to a Xhosa dad and a Pedi mom, Troy was raised in Mamelodi Pretoria. Malangane a twin has 6 siblings with him and his twin between his mom and dad.

EVERYDAY MOTIVATION

I wake up in the morning and I am one of those people who like to watch the sun come out. The thing is I love being above the ground and I am very grateful that I am still alive. I have to wake and do the most as I do not need any motivational speaker, I am up and about. Being alive thrills me. 

GETTING THROUGH THE DAY

After the realisation that I am not where I want to be and I haven’t achieved things I want to achieve. That kind of fills me, to say ‘hey man you still are alive and there is still air in those lungs and this is where we want to go and we are not there yet. Fuel up and let’s go get them’.

MAINTAINING THE BODY…” HOT BODY’

When I lost my job, I moved from Joburg to Cape Town and just started working out as a form of sanity and to get that happy feeling. Ever since then I have gone to gym almost every day except for Sundays.

DRAGGED OUT OF THE CLOSET

My mom was campaigning for me for Mr. South Africa. So, as she is sending out pictures of me, a cousin of mine asked my mom’s sister if Mr. South Africa allows gay men to be part of the competition. So, my aunt went to question my mom if she knew I was gay and if Mr. South Africa is allowing this to happen. In turn my mom went to my sister who approached me to inform me that mom knows about me…. being gay. 

FAMILY AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Moving to Cape Town and staying home, go to the gym and jogging, took me to a place where I had fully accepted myself. I was okay with whatever may come my way. If you wanna be in my space and you wanna be with me you have to accept me for who I am then by all means you are welcome. I am in a space where I am at peace with who I was and who I am today and if you are not comfortable with that, as much as I love you, I will love you from a distance. My mom has accepted me as I am. 

THE CAMPAIGN

It started as a human rights campaign but escalated to Queer Lives Rights campaign because of the killings and inequality that have been happening lately. It is campaign that is true to who I am and sort of have taken a life of its own. People find it more relatable now than they probably would have  if I was in the closet. The outing was fully to my advantage now as it makes it easier for people to relate when they see me. 

RELATIONSHIPS, INTIMACY AND COMPANIONSHIPS

There was a time when I could not be fully committed to or intimate with anyone. But yes, now am in a relationship, I am learning to navigate it every day. I think the biggest thing is just remembering that you are not alone you are with someone and should take into consideration their feelings as well. I sometimes fail at that, it’s one of the bits that are difficult about our lives. It’s not my strongest part of me but I work on it every single day. 

DEFINITION OF SEXY

It is a place where one is fully comfortable with who they are. It is not one’s shape. Sexy is a frame of mind and it’s a place where one views themselves as sexually attractive to other people and self. Sexy is a place of full un-intimidated, immeasurable self-love. Its beyond physical.

 

INSPIRATION TO ENTER MR. SOUTH AFRICA

Through other people I got an invitation to enter who thought I would be a cool candidate. I took it as a joke but later with my boyfriend’s encouragement I seriously considered it. And here we are. It is a bit of a challenge because of full-time work, business and a relationship to maintain. It’s really taking a lot of my time but still it’s a beautiful process and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

CHALLENGES

There is not much of a challenge but there has been lots of hesitation from heterosexual people because of my focus on campaigning for LGBTIQ rights. 

POST MR. SOUTH AFRICA

South Africa is celebration 25 years of the best constitution. One of the biggest Human Rights is the right to life. And I have been surprised at what queer couples have to go through to have children, and exorbitant costs of the process. I would like to speak to these kinds of inequalities. One cannot give fully if they themselves are short. Let’s all have equal rights.

MESSAGE TO YOUNG TROY

It gets better! It’s really gonna be hard but it gets better, give it time. Go through it.

MESSAGE TO HOMOPHOBES

For the life of me I cannot comprehend why anyone would wake up and decided to hate on someone because they are different. What is really hacking you? It’s difficult for me to give a message to homophobes because I don’t understand this hateful group of people. Look at people as humans, love people for who they are.

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